Planning
Choosing between two days and a weekend
How the two formats differ, and what to weigh: your jobs, your distance and how you each rest.
3 min read
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Two days, or a weekend, set aside for the two of you
Dwell is an Oklahoma City practice for couples whose work, travel or distance make a weekly hour hard to keep. Virginia Raya meets you in person for an intensive, then by video once you are home.
Three ways to work together
Long stretches of time, in place of many short ones
An intensive puts the hours of many weekly sessions into one block, in a quiet room, with you both away from the day's demands.
Two-day intensive
Two full days in the office, with breaks and a lunch hour, for couples who can arrange two days off together. A planning call comes first.
See the two daysTwo consecutive days
In person, in Oklahoma City
Follow-up sessions by video
Weekend intensive
Friday evening through Sunday afternoon, for couples whose weekdays are spoken for. Many travel in and stay nearby.
See the weekendFriday evening to Sunday afternoon
Evenings to yourselves
Follow-up sessions by video
Follow-up sessions
Eighty minutes by video, scheduled around both calendars, to carry what you started into ordinary weeks. Virginia is licensed in Oklahoma, so these are for couples in Oklahoma.
How follow-ups work80 minutes each
For people in Oklahoma
Virginia sets the pace with you
Is it right for you?
An intensive, or weekly sessions
Neither is better. They suit different lives, and a few situations suit neither.
| An intensive | Weekly sessions | |
|---|---|---|
| Your calendar | An intensiveYou arrange the time away once, for two days or a weekend. | Weekly sessionsYou hold the same hour every week, for as long as it takes. |
| Where you live | An intensiveWorks if you live outside the city and plan a trip. | Weekly sessionsWorks if you live near the office, or can join by video. |
| Pace | An intensiveLong blocks let a hard conversation run its course. | Weekly sessionsShort sessions leave a week between to think things over. |
| If one of you is afraid of the other | An intensiveNot a fit. Couples therapy is not the right place to start, and we will help you find other support. | Weekly sessionsNot a fit either, for the same reason. |
| If either of you is in crisis right now | An intensiveNot yet. Start with 988 and care for the person in crisis, and write to us when you are ready. | Weekly sessionsWeekly sessions may be an easier first step. Ask us. |
The two-day schedule
What the days look like, one after the other
A weekend intensive follows the same shape, from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon.
- 01
Step 1: Before: a planning call
About two weeks ahead, you both talk with Virginia for half an hour about dates, travel and what each of you hopes the time will be for.
- 02
Step 2: Day one, morning
You arrive, settle in and talk. Virginia asks each of you what you want from these days, and what you want the other to hear.
- 03
Step 3: Day one, midday
A long lunch away from the room. Some couples keep talking and some do not, and either is fine.
- 04
Step 4: Day one, afternoon
The longest stretch. You work through one pattern that keeps coming back, slowly, with breaks when either of you asks.
- 05
Step 5: Day one, evening
The evening is yours. Many couples walk, eat out and rest. There is no homework.
- 06
Step 6: Day two, morning
You pick up where you left off, a night's sleep later, often with a different view of it.
- 07
Step 7: Day two, afternoon
You turn what you have learned into a plan for ordinary weeks: what each of you will do, and what you will ask of the other.
- 08
Step 8: After: follow-up by video
A first follow-up comes about a month later. After that, you and Virginia decide together how many more you want.
The space
A room with the lamps on
The room is yours alone for the whole of each day, with the lamps kept low.
Virginia Raya
Couples therapist and founder of Dwell
I started Dwell for couples who keep saying they will find the time. An intensive is the time, set aside once.
Virginia sees couples in Oklahoma City and, after an intensive, by video for people in Oklahoma. She listens first, says what she hears, and does not take sides. Harper Roberts, Dwell's client coordinator, plans your dates with you.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) · OK Lic. # 000000
Before you decide
Three short reads for planning the days
- Planning
What to arrange before you come
Childcare, time off and where to stay, and how the planning call helps with each.
3 min read - After
After the intensive
What follow-up sessions are for and how Virginia sets their pace with you.
3 min read
How Virginia works
Slowing a conversation down until it can be heard
Virginia's work with couples draws on the Gottman Method and on emotionally focused therapy. Both look at how two people reach for each other, and what happens when they miss.
In a weekly hour, a conversation often ends just as it gets somewhere. In an intensive there is time to stay in it. Virginia keeps the pace, steps in when a conversation turns into a fight, and asks each of you to say what is under the words.
An intensive is not a retreat or a workshop, and it does not replace time with a therapist on your own if either of you needs that. Virginia cannot promise a result, and she tells you plainly if she thinks another kind of help would serve you better.
How fees work
The answers to what nearly everyone asks before they set the days aside.
Insurance we work with
Dwell does not bill insurance. You pay for an intensive yourself, and for each follow-up session. We are out of network with every plan and we do not take Medicare or Medicaid. If you would rather use a plan, we will gladly give you the names of colleagues who bill one.
Out of network with every plan
No Medicare or Medicaid
If you pay yourself
The fee for an intensive depends on the format, two days or a weekend, and on the hours you and Virginia set aside. A follow-up session by video is 80 minutes and is charged by the session. Virginia is licensed in Oklahoma, so video sessions are for couples who are in Oklahoma. We give you the fee in writing before you book, and nothing is charged until you agree to it. We take cards, including HSA and FSA cards. A limited number of reduced-fee places are held for couples who ask. Because the days are held for you alone, changes need two weeks' notice, and we put the cancellation terms in writing with your fee.
Receipts for reimbursement
After an intensive, and after each follow-up session, we give you an itemized receipt (a superbill) with the dates and the kind of session, to send to your plan, which may reimburse part of the cost. It carries a diagnosis code your insurer can see. Many plans do not pay for couples therapy, and reimbursement is not guaranteed, so ask your plan before you book.
An estimate in advance
If you pay without insurance, you have the right to receive a written Good Faith Estimate of what your care will cost before you start. We give you one before you book. If the final bill is $400 or more above the estimate, you can dispute it. The estimate is not a contract.
Your rights, at cms.gov/nosurprisesChecking your benefits
We do not check benefits, because we do not bill your plan. If you want to know whether your plan reimburses out-of-network counseling for couples, call it before you book and ask about marriage and family therapy.
What the first visit includes
Before an intensive you have a planning call with Virginia, about half an hour by video. You talk through dates, travel and what each of you hopes the time will be for, and she tells you honestly whether an intensive looks like a fit. The fee comes to you in writing after that call, and nothing is booked until you say so.
Where couples come from
In person in Oklahoma City, by video across Oklahoma
Couples drive in from across the state and fly in from further away for an intensive. Virginia is licensed in Oklahoma, so follow-up sessions by video are for people who are in Oklahoma at the time.
Oklahoma City area
- Oklahoma City
- Edmond
- Norman
- Moore
- Midwest City
- Yukon
Across Oklahoma
- Tulsa
- Stillwater
- Lawton
- Enid
- Ardmore
- Shawnee
Coming from another state? In-person intensives are open to you. Ask us about travel and where couples stay.
Questions couples ask first
Do you take my insurance?
No. Dwell is out of network with every plan, and we do not take Medicare or Medicaid. You pay for the intensive and for each follow-up session yourself. We give you a receipt you can send to your plan, and we can name colleagues who bill insurance.
Can I get a receipt to send to my plan?
Yes. We give you an itemized receipt, called a superbill, with the dates and the kind of session, that you can send to your plan, which may reimburse part of out-of-network care. It carries a diagnosis code your insurer can see. Many plans do not pay for couples therapy, so ask yours before you book.
What is a Good Faith Estimate?
If you pay without insurance, you have the right to receive a written estimate of what your care will cost before you start. We give you one before you book. If the final bill is $400 or more above the estimate, you can dispute it. The estimate is not a contract.
How much does it cost, and how do fees work?
The fee depends on the format, two days or a weekend, and on the hours you set aside. We give it to you in writing before you book, and nothing is charged until you agree. How fees work explains the rest, including reduced-fee places.
Can we use an HSA or FSA card?
Yes, we take HSA and FSA cards like any other card. Ask your plan administrator whether couples therapy qualifies under your plan's rules.
What happens in an intensive?
You start with a planning call about two weeks ahead. The days themselves are long conversations with Virginia, in blocks with breaks, with the evening to yourselves. A weekend runs from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon.
How long is it, and how often do we come?
An intensive is two days or a weekend. After it, Virginia sets the pace of follow-up sessions with you: some couples return for one or two, some for more. We do not promise a number.
Is Virginia licensed where I live?
Virginia is licensed in Oklahoma. In-person intensives take place in Oklahoma City, and couples travel in from other states for them. Follow-up sessions by video are for people who are in Oklahoma at the time of the session.
What if one of us does not want to come?
Say so on the planning call. Virginia would rather hear it before the days begin than during them. An intensive asks both of you to want to be in the room, and if one of you does not, weekly sessions or time with a therapist on your own may be a better first step.
What do I do in a crisis?
Call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time. In an emergency, call 911. If you or someone in your home is being hurt by a partner, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. This site is not monitored around the clock.
What is confidential, and what are the limits?
What you say in sessions is private, and we share it only as the law allows. The limits are danger to yourself or someone else, abuse of a child or of an adult who cannot protect themselves, and a court order. In couples work, Virginia does not keep secrets between the two of you, and she explains how that works on the planning call.
What is your cancellation policy?
Because the days are held for the two of you, we ask for two weeks' notice to change dates. The terms are written in your fee letter before you book, so you see them first.
Write to us
Tell us how you would like to start
We reply within one business day, by the method and at the time you choose. Harper Roberts answers first, and plans the dates with you.
Phone(405) 555-0104
Emailhello@
Hours
- Monday – FridayToday
- 9 a.m. – 5 p.m.
- SaturdayToday
- Intensives, by appointment
- SundayToday
- Intensives, by appointment